Twisted Mythology: Three Tales of Greek Mythology Read online

  “To our places on the Elysium Fields!” they cheered.

  Hades sighed and whispered under his breath, “A place in Tartarus is more like it.”

  No sooner had the words escaped his lips did the guardsmen arrive to break up the fighting. Hades let the men bind his hands behind his back and force him through the tavern to the street outside. They sat him next to Arcadius who was grinning despite a split lip and his left eye showed signs of swelling. He could not fault these men the opportunity for a good time, but there had to be a less barbaric way of finding one.

  More guards were summoned to escort Hades and the guardsmen back to the barracks where they sat outside the Captain’s office until the mortal arrived in the morning. They waited outside as a string of men, including the tavern owner and several of the patrons who had slipped out during the fight. Only after these men were interviewed did the Captain call them in one at a time starting with Arcadius into his office.

  A guard closed the door behind Arcadius as the mortal stepped into the Captain’s office. Even with the door firmly shut, nearly every word Arcadius spoke could be clearly heard. Between the half-truths and outright lies defending his own actions, the mortal did speak an occasional truth. Hades hid a frown; this mortal seemed not to care that the words he spoke today would be used against him when he eventually reached the Underworld to stand in front of the judges.

  Once the guardsman was allowed of the Captain’s presence, the rest of the guards were led inside. Arcadius was led to another part of the barracks where a healer tended to the mortal’s cuts and bruises. Hades cast his eyes to the ground and listened to hear each of the other guards said. Sadly, they spoke too softly for him to make out anything they said. He imagined they were all repeating the words of Arcadius almost identically.

  When his turn at last came, Hades stood in utter silence in front of the Captain as the mortal looked over something on his desk. It was almost tempting to start speaking, to see what additional trouble he might be in. He would have to receive a similar punishment to what the other guardsman would be given. The Captain’s face held a frown when the man finally looked up.

  “It didn’t take those fools long enough to get you in trouble with them,” the Captain said. “I thought they’d wait at least another two moons before dragging you into something. I’d like to hear your version of events, not the one that agrees with the lies Arcadius fed me.”

  Hades quickly recounted the events from beginning to end, leaving nothing out; he even explained that he had in fact recognized Minthe from the fountain. The Captain remained silent until the end before shouting questions in his direction.

  “Tell no one of what you told me this morning, Aidoneus,” the Captain commanded. “I’m sure you heard the story that Arcadius gave me.” Hades nodded. “Stick to that one, that’s an order. I’m giving you the same punishment as the others: a night in the stockade, a fine, and an extra shift.”

  The Captain nodded and Hades walked out of the office under the guard of two mortals who escorted him to the healer. Once the healer had looked him over, he was taken to the stockade where Arcadius and the other guardsmen had been taken. He was put in the same cell as Arcadius who had fallen asleep on the one bed in the cell. Hades sat down, his back against the wall and half-slept. When Arcadius stirred and came to his feet, Hades came awake, but he did not stir even as the mortal came in his direction. Only when Arcadius sent a foot to his gut did Hades open his eyes; the guardsman grabbed him and pulled him to his feet, keeping a firm grip on Hades’ shoulders. Arcadius grinned; it reminded Hades of Hermes when his nephew had mischief on his mind.

  “What did you tell the Captain, Aidoneus?” the mortal demanded.

  “What do you think I told him?” Hades returned. “I told him what you did. I didn’t stray from your tale, I assure you.”

  “Good,” Arcadius barked and his released his grip.

  The guardsman pivoted on his heel and returned to the bed. Hades sank back to the floor and waited until the doors opened so he could remove himself from this mortal’s presence.

  Chapter 3

  A fortnight passed before Hades was giving the additional shift to work that the Captain promised he would receive as part of his punishment. He was given over to the palace to act as a bodyguard to the mortal King Ixion as an emissary from Athens was welcomed. A guardsman gave him a tour of the palace grounds and the route the King would take to meet their neighbors to the south.

  “His Majesty does not like his guards to stand too close to him,” the guardsman informed him. “Stand at least two paces from the King at all times. The prince will be accompanying the King. Although the boy has his own guard, do not hesitate in stepping in to protect him should something go afoul.”

  Hades listened to the guardsman rattle off every other detail he thought Hades needed to hear. It sounded like a boring shift and so much the better, in his opinion. He could still hear in the back of his mind the list of complaints that Arcadius made after his own extra shift. Hades pushed the thought out of his mind as the guardsman escorted him to the King’s council chamber. The King’s advisors talked amongst themselves as Ixion schooled his son in what was expected of the boy during the meeting.

  As soon as the King finished giving the prince one last piece of advice, they were on their way. Ixion maintained a slow pace out of the council room, stopping to speak with many members of the nobility and the merchant class who lined the hallways; several of them join him on the walked towards the entrance. An eternity later, they finally reached the steps outside the palace in time to see the Athenian chariots pull up. Ixion descended those steps with his entourage closely behind him; the king welcomed the emissary warmly, inviting the men to the great hall for refreshments. The Athenians agreed and followed the King through the palace. Again, the King stopped periodically to speak with whoever approached him. Sometimes he would introduce the emissary to the person but sometimes not.

  A crowd of mortals had fathered in the great hall and bowed as the King and his guests walked down the center of the hall to a table located at the far end. Hades could see a door there and cursed under his breath. He had not been given a tour of that part of the palace. Who knew who might be able to sneak up behind the King and his guests from there. He would have to mention that to the Captain of the palace guard before returning to the barracks.

  Once the King and the Athenian emissary sat down, a parade of servants entered with jugs of wine that they served to every mortal in attendance. Several servants emerged from the door behind where Ixion sat. Hades stopped each person and demanded to know their business in the great hall. Most were food servers while others were attendants of many of the nobility. Hades let them pass and in between the endless line of mortals passing through in and out of the door, the god kept an eye on both the King and his demigod son.

  Half-way through the welcome, a man emerged through the door and Hades could see that unlike the rest of the servants who had entered the great hall from this location, this mortal carried no trays or other items in his hands. He took a closer look at the mortal and saw he had bloodshot eyes and that he had not trimmed his beard in some time or combed his hair. Slowly Hades stepped toward this mortal who seemed not to notice there was a figure towering over him in the shadows.

  “Who are you?” Hades demanded. The mortal did not answer; instead he kept in his eyes staring ahead of him. Hades followed the mortal’s gaze which stared firmly at the back of Ixion’s chair and then looked back at the mortal. “I asked you a question, my good man: Who are you?”

  “I am nobody,” the mortal whispered.

  The mortal’s hands moving brought Hades’ eyes away from his face. The god could see the man reach for a knife at his belt. The mortal screamed as he raised the knife up. Hades grabbed the hand holding the weapon and twisted it to the point where the mortal released his grip, dropping the knife. With the weapon falling to the ground, Hades grabbed the mortal and slammed his against the w
all. The mortal did not struggle as other guards took hold of him and dragged him from the hall.

  “Death to Athens!” the mortal shouted.

  The people gathered in the hall watched the man being dragged away, whispering amongst themselves for several moments before returning to their seats and their refreshments as if the mortal had not even been there. Hades stayed near the door; the servants passing through stopped to announce themselves to him after that. He nodded to them as he continued to watch the crowd.

  After the welcome in the great hall, the king took his guests to the council chamber where the discussed a continuing friendship between their two cities. The discussion continued long into the evening, and it had turned dark by the time the King and the emissary retired for the day. Before being dismissed for the night, he recounted the incident with the mortal to the Captain of the palace guard who dismissed him once he had all the information he wanted.

  Hades retreated to the barracks where a messenger awaited him with an announcement that the Captain of the guard wanted to speak with him. Once more he recounted the evening’s events, followed by the same questions he had been asked at the palace. With the questions answered, Hades slipped off the barracks grounds and found the hovel Minthe called home with in Larissa. The nymph seemed delighted to see him.

  He left her side and dawn and reached the barracks mess hall in time for the morning meal. That day, he patrolled the city square alongside Arcadius who stayed more silent than his usual talkative self. When they returned to the barracks after their patrol, a messenger called Hades to the Captain’s office. He waited for several moments before the Captain called him inside.

  “Aidoneus,” the captain said after he looked up from his desk.

  “Captain,” Hades answered.

  The mortal leaned back in his chair and stayed silent for a few seconds. “The King is quite impressed with how quickly you thwarted the assassin. He has requested your services for the remainder of the time the Athenian emissary is in Larissa. Report there immediately.”

  “Yes, Captain,” Hades said, pivoting on his heel and walking through the barracks to the nearest street. When he reached the square, he spotted Minthe sitting on the edge of the fountain, with one hand in her lap and the other in the water. She smiled at him as he passed but Hades did not stop to speak with her. At the palace, he found the Captain of the palace guard who thanked him for coming.

  “We expected you earlier, guardsman,” the mortal told him.

  “My apologies. I was on patrol, captain. No messenger came to find me until I was returning for the evening.

  The mortal nodded and commanded Hades to follow him. Hades remembered this route; it led to the council chamber. There he found the King and his advisors speaking with the Athenians. Upon his entrance with the Captain, Hades watched the mortal king dismiss everyone for the evening. He stepped aside as the room emptied of both counselors and emissaries. Ixion came to his feet and bid Hades to come closer and to remove his helmet. Hades obeyed and bowed to the King.

  “How good of you to return to use, guardsman,” the King smiled. “I’ve heard many things about you. I wish to hear them from your own lips, starting with your journey from Sparta.”

  The King sat back down as Hades began recounting the tale had rehearsed prior to his arrival. He was careful not to deviate even a little from the details of his lie. Had they wanted to check his stories, they could send a messenger to Sparta to confirm what he was saying. Hades had assumed the identity of a guardsman who had died in battle, but he had altered the records to show this Aidoneus had been exiled not killed. It provided Hades the excuse for leaning when he had his fill of Ixion and his court. He continued his tale with Ixion occasionally interrupting to ask a question or two.

  “Thank you,” the King said when Hades finished speaking. “The Athenian emissary will be here for another fortnight. While they are here, you will guard them during the day. On the day of their departure, you will accompany them to our borders where their own people will be waiting. When you return to my side, guardsman, you will be given a fortnight’s leave. If you perform well, I will have you reassigned to my house. If not, I’ll see you returned to the city guard. Your shift starts at dawn.”

  Hades bowed and slipped out of the palace and returned to the square, following Minthe’s path back to her hovel. She grinned as she helped him out of his armor and into her bed. Before dawn, Hades left her side and found his way back to the palace where the Captain waited to show him to the guest quarters where another guardsman waited. The two mortal departed and a short time later, a servant approached him with a platter of food and wine. The servant vanished once Hades accepted the meal.

  He finished the plate of food just as the Athenian emissary emerged from the guest chamber. The emissary consisted of three balding men with more gray in their hair than brown. They all stood at least a head shorter than the mortal form Hades had taken. They spoke quietly amongst themselves as they traversed the palace to the great hall where Ixion and his son waited with other members of the nobility. Only after the Athenian men took their seats did the servants lay out the meal. After eating, the emissary was escorted by the King to the assembly where the Athenians were presented to the full assembly. The members of the Larissa assembly listened intently to the emissary’s words to extend the peace between their cities.

  Nearly every day afterwards, Hades escorted these mortal to the assembly, but he also accompanied them to the market and at least once, he joined them on a hunt that Ixion had organized. At night, once the guardsman who watched the guest door until dawn arrived, Hades retreated to the kitchens for a meal and then he slipped out of the palace to meet Minthe. More than once, Hades saw Arcadius in the streets, either emerging from a tavern or in a corner near the palace and trying to stay out of sight as he followed Hades through the streets. Hades frowned; Arcadius was perfectly willing to lie, and it made the god of the dead wonder what else the guardsman might be willing to do.

  On the night before the Athenians were set to leave, Hades was allowed to leave his post early to join the rest of the palace guards in the barracks mess hall for the evening meal. He shared stories of Sparta with the men as they ate. At the end of one tale, the men cheered and called for another. After the first time the mortals asked, Hades searched his memory for the tales he had heard the Spartan souls tell him in the Underworld. Near the midnight hour, Hades finally brought an end to the storytelling much to the dismay of the men around him.

  He slipped out of the mess hall and traversed the city to Minthe’s hovel. The nymph giggled at the sight of him and pulled him inside and into her bed. Near the dawn hour, he pulled himself away from her. She crossed her arms and frowned as she watched him don his armor.

  “Do you have to go, my lord?” she asked. “They could send someone else in your place.”

  “Part of the reason I came to Larissa, my lady, was to learn what I could about mortals,” he told her. I hope it will help me better rule the Underworld by doing so. Upon my return, I expect to be rewarded with some a holiday.”

  Those last words made her grin. Hades smiled with her as he strapped his sword belt around his waist. He sat next to her before he spoke again.

  “Do you remember the guardsman you met on the day we met at the fountain?” The nymph nodded. “He’s been shadowing me for the last several days, my lady. I have a feeling he means me harm.”

  Minthe giggled again. “This is not the only place I can hide, my lord. I can use another building to sleep while you’re away.”

  “That would please me greatly if you did so, my lady.” Hades took one last kiss before leaving her side.

  Chapter 4

  The King of Lapiths sent two other guardsman who introduced themselves as Cleon and Nemos to escort the Athenian emissary to the Thessaly-Attica border. Hades had not met these two mortal before nor did he recall seeing them; they had, however, apparently heard his name mentioned from others. The guardsman claimed
to have heard that he had ben Arcadius’ company the last time the mortal had been in a tavern brawl. Hades tried to laugh with the mortals as they recounted the tale in detail. Arcadius had shown so much potential that first day Hades had met him, the god reminded himself.

  During the fortnight’s travel to the border, they set up an evening watch even though they stayed at the homes of mortal families along the route. The mortals welcomed them gladly into their homes, offering the best food and the seats closest to the fire to their guests. After the evening meals, the Athenian emissary traded tales of Athens for whatever piece of news or stories the families were willing to tell. On some nights, the Athenians were told the same stories as they had heard the previous evening but they always listened with the greatest interest.

  They reached the border at midday, ahead of the Athenian escort. Hades and the guardsmen stayed on the Thessaly side of the border, near a watering hole where their horses rested while they waited. The two guardsmen walked around their horses, checking how securely their saddles and bags were secured to their horses; they stayed quiet for a while but soon Hades could hear them whispering amongst themselves. More than once he heard them mention Arcadius’ name, and each time the mortal’s name was mentioned, it was often followed by the word lesson. Hades hid a grin; so Arcadius had plans for him, and when these mortals tried to teach him the lesson, they would have a surprise on their hands.

  As the thought left his mind, the Athenian escort arrived. Hades could hear the two guardsmen sigh and chuckle. One mumbled it would be a faster trip to Larisa with only the three of them. Hades could not help but think at least one of these mortals would be seriously injured by the time they returned to Ixion’s court. The Athenian emissary approached them as their escort brought their horses to a stop.